so...I am just pooped...and i feel the need to vent. I'm feeling completely unprepared for my 3 tests that begin tomorrow and go until friday...as i have zero time to study after tonight. I've been on vicodin since last monday....maybe that is why i am having such a hard time concentrating...but its either that, or extreme pain. Hopefully that will subside. i really need to suck it up and focus...i've just been feeling SO crazy today....i just want to cry, and i don't know why. i thought writing it down would help. it didn't.

*Monday: Water only!!!!(with lemon if you want)/ Pilates or jog-walk-run 2 miles. (BLUE BRACELET)



*Tuesday: under 300 calories./ Tone exercise. (PINK BRACELET)



*Wednesday: GREEN TEA, a cup a grapes OR cottege cheese (3 spoons) (one).MMMM tea. ur choice of exercise. (GREEN BRACELET)



*Thursday: Ur fav. dish. / BUT half of the regular size. Work out/ but u need to kill 580 calories during ur workout. (YELLOW BRACELET)



*Friday: Community fast 72 hrs. CREATIVE WEEKEND. Catch up with ur life!! (RED FOR THE WEEKEND). SWIM, SWIM. ITS SUMMER GIRLS. THE SUN IS OUR FRIEND.

i put in my two weeks at work today...it sort of felt good...i hate my boss more than anything in the world!! but now i just feel crazy...i now have 14 days to be working somewhere else...yikes!! i had an okay day food-wise...a friend and i went to lunch...so i did eat...but i purged, and i had a salad w/o dressing for dinner. oh well. the day's almost over, anyway.

the good news is that i got my husband to start a two week super strict diet with me. we've been drinking and eating like crap...so he said he'd do a cleanse with me...so it'll be a great chance for me to fast without him constantly wanting to eat! so that will be great! we're starting on sunday...if anyone wants to go for a weeklong liquid fast...holla! have a great night lovies!!

i have a test in two hours...the circulatory system is no fun to memorise...especially when you're totally distracted all day long! all i've done is binge today. eat...eat...eat. it makes me so sad. its all i ever do when i have a day off...especially when i'm stressed. i feel like it's easy to have control when you're busy...you don't give yourself the option of eating...and you don't eat. very simple. here i'm sitting like a cow eating anything in sight. i'm pathetic. hope you're all doing better.

Date:	2005-05-13 19:48
Subject:	SUMMER IS COMING!!!!!
Security:	Public
Mood:	excited

it's time to get serious...this is when we shine!!!

Date:	2005-05-12 13:58
Subject:	SO INSPIRING!!!
Security:	Public
Mood:	hopeful

i read this on proana1...pinkjladt wrote it...and i have honestly never read anything that inspired me more!! hope you all feel the same!

***Hunger=Success***

Sometimes, we think of hunger as the indicator of our body asking for food, but I think of it as my body telling me I am succeeding, I am in control, my body must submit to my will to be thin. Hunger is a feeling of accomplishment. Fullness is failure, because you are not enduring, not in control, not sacrificing enough. Hunger pushes us towards euphoria and perfection. We must suffer before claiming our ultimate prize--the perfect form. I think of it as a game, in which I must dodge obstaces (food), overcome physical desires, and endure pain to reach the finish line. My finish line is 102 pounds, my magic number.

After I reach that finish line, I will mark off a new one, and so on. In a race, you gain momentum, endurance, stamina to move forward--no one ever reaches the finish line and turns around, retracing the difficult steps that it took them to get there (falling back into food, gaining back the weight)... turning back is not an option. Don't give in after you've come so far. Every calorie cut, meal skipped, fasting hour passed is a step towards your finish line. The feeling of hunger along the way reminds us that we are nearing our goals... so endure the pain, crave the pain, but do not yield to your bodies demands. You are in control. Remember the days when you were so busy with life that fasting was easy--you can do it, it's a mental battle. Mind against body. Only the mind can transform the body; it cannot will itself to thinness. You must envision your perfect body and decide once and for all to create it. Go.

***It is the mind that makes the body.***

Date:	2005-05-09 14:37
Subject:	I don't even know where to start!!
Security:	Public
Mood:	hopeful

The beginning, i suppose...
My name is Christina, I'm 22 (for another month) and I've been ana for about 6 years. Two of them I was recovered...but after I completely lost control (thyroid and hormone stuff) I started again with restricting and fasting. Now I try to approach my restricting in a much more healthy way, if that makes any sense. So...that's all the fluff...here's the cold hard stats:

Username: wooftah24
Age: 22
Height: 5'11"
CW: 140
HW: 180
LW: 115

STG: 130
LTG: 115

So that's that...I am really looking forward to meeting and getting to know all of you darlings!